'WriMo, Day Eleven

Sorry I haven't been blogging recently. I have just been sooooooooo busy!

Oh, about eleven days ago, I started NaNoWriMo on a whim. While completely insane (some would argue, idiotic) I have begun to enjoy it. I started crafting my plot during a dark and stormy night, Halloween night, to be exact, and have enjoyed it so much! I try to craft some of it during the day before sitting down and writing, but some of it had been total improv.

However, the lack of pre-planning has affected me in ways I did not imagine; that and the Statewide meeting, and the Yardhouse in Pasadena. It's been crazy. I'm already like 9,000ish words behind and I need to start soon!

So, random update, and leaving.

Also: It's 11/11/11.

...Cool.

: )

I Finally Know What the hell I'm Doing!! Yay!!

Oh my god. I finally understand.

I know why I can't write anything. I finally know exactly why I am unable to write a single damn thing.

I don't know what I want to write.

When I'm writing a story the idea is wild, very wild, all of the place, even. I don't know how to put it on paper, because even if I am creative, I'm a very methodological person, meaning that I need to know what I'm going to write before I write it, creative idea or no creative idea. I need to start outlining everything, because if I don't, I'm gonna end up with what I believe I've ended up various times, already. Unfinished stories, and writer's block the size of a Twatlighter mob outside of Robert Pattinson's house.

I'm going to go get started on that.

This is so awesome!!

:D

HI!!!!!

I will start this post by saying this:

My mom is listening to "Love Game" by Lady Gaga. My mother, who only speaks Spanish, is listening to Lady Gaga. I find this strange, and seeing a new side of my mother is very strange, too. She was young once! LOL

My friend just texted me that she had to go to a dentist's appointment with her sister, so she won't be coming over. I miss her. But this will give me a chance to pick up the 18th Anita Blake book from the library and going to the bookstore. I've been trying to go since last Sunday, but I fell sick. So I'm going now, in the afternoon.

I've been trying to do JulNoWriMo, but since I got sick and since I have school, everything's been suffering. There's Decathlon, too. We're in there from 3:30 to 6:00ish. It's all cool, though. I wouldn't been in it if I didn't enjoy it, but it just depresses me that I'm going to have even less time, once we start staying 'til 8.

I'm at 2K. This is not good, not good at all. I have typed up 6 pages, or so, and i have to type more, but really? I have absolutely no idea where the hell I'm going with it. (BTW, Stephen: I accidentally named a character after you! Hahaha! I was looking for a name, and I looked on my bookshelf and saw the copy of IT by Stephen King, and I named the character Stephen. Hahaha!) The bookshelf thing? Yeah, I've gained the habit of looking for names on my bookshelf every time I need a name. Stephen Alexander is a product of this. Stephen King and Alexandre Dumas respectively. Then there was the Melissa disaster, in which the character ended up being named Claire for some unknown reason...hahaha!

I need to write...

Going to bookstore...

Going to pick up book at library...

Uncomplete Dissection

Okay. Today I'm dealing with a very semi-important issue. Many of you have read my never-ending blogs about it, and my bitch-fits and damning. This is about Twilight.

I hate it. I detest it. Although it's not really for the reasons you all think. These reasons, while valid, just help my hate, not cause it.

Let me start with this:

I love fantasy. The myths, the stories, the fiction. With this, I also love fantasy, the supernatural. I love fiction. It's a very important part of my life. I cannot imagine my life without being able to read some of my favorite fantasy books out there. I just can't. If I couldn't, I would be missing a vital part of my life. I know this sounds a little weird to you guys, but think of how weird it is to me. :P

I was the little kid (age 10-11) who would wake up at 3:30 Am on a Saturday to watch early re-runs of Buffy: the Vampire Slayer. I was the little kid who was obsessed with Harry Potter and his adventures, in love with the world that Rowling provided for me. I was the little fifth grader who would stay up late past his bedtime (at least back then lol) to watch new/old episodes of Charmed.

I would safely say I was a hardcore fan of almost anything involving witches, vampires, werewolves, and magic.

Hell, I even like Angel.

I went through somewhat of a dry-spell during middle school, caring more about popularity and creating my own little "gangsta/rapper" world. Safe to say, it didn't pan out. However, while I was doing this, my imagination wouldn't leave me alone, attacking me with stories about witches, magic and the supernatural. I would make stories, but for whatever reason, could never write them down.

This continued up until a few years ago, around the end of my freshman year. My father died.

This caused me to take the fantasy-love up again. I began reading Buffy fanfiction, since they had stopped airing re-runs. I watched as many re-runs as I could of Charmed, reliving my old days. I started re-reading my old copies of the Harry Potter books (1-5), getting lost in that magical world again. I discovered manga. Bleach and Naruto more than anything. Hellsing.

I started reading Laurell K. Hamilton's work at the age of 14.

The really dark ones, too. I remember the first book I read was "Bloody Bones." The second was "The Lunatic Cafe" and I then skipped to "Danse Macabre" which led me to "Incubus Dreams." These books made my life for a good while. Reading about vampires and magic and such- it made me happy in a way I can't fully comprehend.

This made me look farther into history and mythology. Wikipedia and its macabre storage of ancient facts and beliefs became my normal haunting ground. Ancient gods and goddesses became my regular playmates. I became so immersed in other people's work, and into my own imagination.

And I loved every single second of it.

I could say this caused me to not develop adequate social skills, which is why I say I'm too immature. I say this when people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend. I would rather just have a lot a friends. It's how I am. If I truly wanted someone I would go find her. I would go get one. But i don't. I just...like being nice. Hanging out, chillin' with my friends. Lol.

Anyway, back to the main point.

We've established that i was hardcore into fantasy. I still am. More so than before. I would look up the vampire myths and supernatural and occult things. This eventually caused me to pursue writing as a career, because I wanted to put my stories into paper. Have other people read it, see those stories. The adventures. I was also a sticker for research. I would look things up, and if they were completely out of the realm of possibility, I would search for a way to make them fit. I would put my vampire characters as actually vampires. The cross thing, the garlic thing, the sunlight thing, the stake-through-the-heart thing. I loved doing that. :D

This is why Twilight offends me so much. The writing is bad, truthfully, and so is the plot, but mainly, it's the mythology.

Why the fuck would Mayer create these creatures and classify them as 'vampires'? They aren't. At all!! Who gave her the right to whore out the vampire fanatic culture, to whore out the supernatural like that? I loved the fact that it made me different, that inside, I wasn't like anyone else, no matter how much I denied it when I was younger. I was different.

Now I have all of these little "Twatlighters" whoring out what was once mine, mine and that of a few other people. You know, I can't say I like reading or watching about vampires without someone assuming I've read the Twilight series? It irks me to no end. I hate the fact that Stephanie Meyer whored out something so....me.....to a whole bunch of teenagers. What gave her that right? I was the little kid who would watch re-runs of Buffy at the break of dawn, who had his nose stuck in a Harry Potter novel or an Anita Blake novel, respectively.

I know many of you will be like...WTF? to this post, but i had to say exactly why I hate Twilight so much, behind the fact that Meyer cannot write. This Twilight thing, whenever someone assumes I like vampires because I read it, it hurts something inside me. That little boy who would bitch out anyone who would dare say anything about what he liked. I'm not him anymore. And this thing just angered something inside me. It just turned a whole generation of teens into little posers, who want to be like me, how I was. Trust me, I've heard people who profess to love vampires, and the only piece of vampire literature is Twilight.

I hate it.

Ugh. I just had to get this off my chest. Hope you guys won't get too freaked out. Lol! However, if you do, I understand. ^_^

Shave the Dolphins! Shave them ALL!!

Ok, well don't really shave the dolphins. That's just cruel.

I was trying to say save the dolphins, but since I was cracking up, It came out lisped, and said "Shave the Dolphins!" Lol! I was in the stacks, checking the magazines at my job when I did this. It amused me.

I was also in the magazine shelves today. It was cool, I was getting the little green card they used to use to check stuff out, out of the little pocket in the back. It was a bitch going through that many magazines, but my co-worker and I made it through at least two shelves today. So that's good. Although it didn't help that me and her were just reading old copies of GQ and in-style, respectively. It was fun, although the later copies ( I think 06-08) of GQ don't have the Dr. Sooth columns (which I found the other day while bored) which deal with sex and advice. they were fun.

We were supposed to turn in our time sheets today, so we can get paid. But our supervisor left, so now we have to take our lunch break and use for taking the time sheets. Even then, we don't get paid until the 25th....ugh.

Shit......I need to get paid!!

Anyways, I haven't started my homework, at ALL! I still need to read, and my time is being consumed with thought of what I'm going to do with my paycheck once it arrives. And, I still have to open a bank account to be able to cash it, which means I have to wait for my ID (which I bought on Friday; two hours at the DMV- Horrible!) to arrive, because I need it to open an account. It takes two-to-four weeks to arrive.

I decided what I'm going to do with my paycheck:

1. Give 100 dollars to my mom to pay her back for the ID and some for the household.
2. Spend 100 on my clothes, shoes.
3. Spend 50 on my pre-paid phone.
4. Use the other 50 on magazine subscriptions to GQ, Rolling Stone, and Shimmer.
5. Buy my best friend's birthday present.
6. Save 100 so that I am able to buy my Doc Martens on a later date.

So how's that? Lol! I have everything planned out, the wild card being a couple of twenties. The next one, which I get on July the tenth, I'm going to use purely on my iPod, the 120 gig one I've eyed for awhile. The rest I'm going to save and use to fuel my random desires such as: random clothes, caramel frapps, caramel chocolate, phone minutes, books, more magazines, and my ever-rising debt to the library.

Fun.

I also got the money for the gym membership at my local park. It's mainly weights, but its better than anything. I'm hoping to at least lose half my body fat by the time I'm eighteen, but currently I can only go on Fridays and Saturdays. This is because I'm working Mon-Thurs.

I haven't written anything recently, and sorry I've been lagging it on your guys' story, but I just don't have the time. I started editing the first chapter of this "novel" I'm writing, and completely deleted it. I took out what I wanted and completely changed the beginning. I'm also altering the characters and getting rid of any I don't need. It's just easier than continuing something I'm not feeling. I just altered the beginning, so now it's somewhat easier to continue.

Lawl.

I am currently listening to No Doubt, which is something I haven't really done in a while. I can't wait for their new CD to come out!

Ugh. I want to find the first three Indiana Jones movies some where on the net so I can put them in my future iPod, but so far? No luck. My cousin couldn't find them on iTunes, and I don't know where to get them on DVD so I can bribe my other cousin into ripping them for me. I just really want them. I remember I use to watch them with my dad all the time, which is why I want them. Also, cause I like Indy and his adventures. It could totally be like the new James Bond. People just need to screw with it a little and Lucas need to get his mitts off them. I hated the fact that the made the fourth one so long after. I don't even want to watch it, but i know I will eventually. Lol.

That's all today, folks. Gotta go do stuff. Lawl me.

Vampires anyone? (^,.,^)

Hi. The title deceives you.

I'm blogging from a public library near my house. Mainly because I couldn't from my school because the school is ghetto and the computer i was on sucked worse than a two-dollar whore in downtown.

I'm at school during vacations because I'm taking a bible course. Lol! Don't trip, not going all religious! Hahaha! Its a "Bible as literature" class that I'm doing for intersession. It's actually fun. It's like mythology. There's fighting, tricks, tragedy, sex and irony. Lol! Yes, I know hard to believe. Lol!

We had an earthquake the other day. I was tripping the fuck out!! I didn't know what to do! And since we live on the second floor, it felt worse. But still, if the building would've collapsed, my and my mom would be the ones alive! Whoo! :P

Moo.

I bought the Passion tea from starbucks today. It was flavored with lemonade i think? it was fucking awesome!! I was like....OMG! I had tried it before when I freeloaded from my friend, but it was good. I recommend it.

I still haven't done any of my off-track homework. I'm being forced to read "Pride and Prejudice", "Great Expectations", and "Wuthering Heights." I need to start.

I also need to start reading "A Tale of Two Cities" for Academic Decathlon, since I haven't. Last week, or so (maybe last-last week) the teacher asked us to tell her something we had learned in Academic Decathlon that wasn't about "A Tale of Two Cities." I blanked out. I didn't know what to say! Another girl said what I was going to say, and i completely got lost. I froze, and that's really stupid because once I got home I could think of three different things. Ugh.

Today I blogged from here, and tomorrow I'll try from school. But i don't think I'm going to use my computer anymore, since it's being violated. Yesterday, after I had finished blogging, I got that some stupid "Adobe" message, and something was trying to install a program into my computer. I cancelled the installation, and turned off the modem- for the Internet. I turned off my comp manually, and now it works, but i haven't turned on the Internet.

So yeah.

Gold chains and Black Roses! Lol!

Im bored.

BTW: Thanx to Rain and Stephen for joining my blog! Lol! :D
BTW2: I'm very bored.
BTW3: Reading a new book. It's called JPod. Its about a video game company's employees who have to go through a whole bunch of shit. It delightfully amoral. Lawl.
BTW4: I'm gonna try to write a story especially for you people. Lol! Something with magic, faeries and insanity. Maybe sexual innuendo. Not sure. Lol!

Moo. Moo. Moo. Moo. Moo. Moo. Moo.

Everytime I look at myself...I wonder. How did I get so awesome? Lol!

Lawl.

Yay!! I'm back.....sort of.

I'll try to blog more. I miss it.

But yeah, my vacation feels like work. Lmao! I'm trying to get a job, but I need to go turn in my application for a work permit, because I need one. Lol!

I have been binge reading. Alot. I finished all of "The Dresden Files" series, except for "Grave Peril" which I'm reading now. I devoured all of "The Hollows" series, except for "A Fistful of Charms" which I waiting for the library to get to me. Lawl. I've also read the graphic novels (aka Comics) by Jim Butcher and LKH, "Welcome to the Jungle" and "The First Death".

There are others, don't feel like mentioning them.

I decided to try my hand at novel writing, which I haven't done before. Its just been short stories and other shit. I realized that If I can't get at least 25 pages or so in a month, I have no business becoming a writer. I had resolved to work on it everyday, but I've been busy. Lol!

The "novel" is about magic (like I would write anything else!). An alternate history. Warlocks, witches, Guardians and vampires, the works for the fantasy genre. Regular stuff, well psychopathic families, magical criminals, dark-side bosses, and that horrible place known as "High School".

Fun, huh?

I took the Ap tests recently (AP= Advanced Placement) for college credit. I'm not getting any. Tragic. The History one was Hard!!! I hated it! Moooo!!! The English one wasn't as difficult. If there was any chance of me passing, it'd be on the English one.

So that's it for today. Lol! I'm gonna start blogging again, fuck the damn spyware/virus. It can go fuck Twilight! Ugh.

BTW: Have a new rant on Twatlight. Later though. Lol!

Random quote of the day: "It doesn't feel right, so keep going down; It doesn't feel right, until you start to drown." - Jeffree Star ( Ice Cream)

I'm bored. You don't get to judge me. Bitch.

Lawl.

"This is where it starts..."

Ugh. I have finals this week and every time someone reminds me, a little part of my soul dies.

I want to write, but I'm too lazy.

Currently, I'm writing this story that is kind of like a sequel to the earlier one I wrote. "Dragon Bite", which is a working title. Basically its about this guy (Nick or Damien - haven't decided what name) who works for a magical detective agency in Los Angeles. This first one, which is in its rough draft form (and will continue to be, until my English teacher decides to actually read it =.=) is about dragons and people who hunt them. It short, less 5,000 words. The second one, which I'm writing now (its slow going...), is about a faerie princess who is to be married to her rival court's prince, and his people are trying to kill her to intentionally start a war. The third, which I'm planning, is going to be about either vampires who need help hunting one of their own, or about a demonic/ghost entity in a house. The demonic one would include flesh melting. Lawl.

This is just a quick update, need to do homework. But if you please, would you tell me if you were able to read these stories, would you?

Silk sheets and black roses! Lmao!

Bittersweet Heaven

Dudes. Just watched my first episode of Dollhouse.

It was fucking awesome.

I can't believe I haven't discovered it before today! Its like....AHHH! I mean I always liked Eliza Dushku, I really liked her in the role of Faith, and I saw some of Tru Calling, but this just blew me away! I was like OMG!

All of you, watch this show! I highly recommend it. Very sci-fi, some of Joss Whedon's best work, in my not-so humble opinion.

I'm still waiting on the other Dresden Files books. I'm trying to not skip around a lot, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job of it. It's nothing like the Anita Blake reading fiasco of 06-08. I've only skipped like one book, so I think I'm safe.

And, of course, I'm still patiently waiting for "Skin Trade". I already pre-ordered it from the library. Lol! I only buy paperbacks because I'm poor. :)

My days have been monotonous. It's been like "BLAH!". I really need to pick up my school work, since we're almost off, and I have like two D's. Stupid AP U.S History. Grrrr....

Lawl. I have to do a collage for french class, and I'm totally stressed. Since my teacher is being somewhat of a bitch, I need to paste everything on the poster board over the weekend, and THEN go print out some pictures of me and cin for it. In color and before school. It sucks, since I'm usually in a zombie-like state in the morning.

Ugh.

I also have to do four different projects for A.P English, and study a shit-load for A.P History. It makes my head hurt. Not to mention Decathlon and Geometry. I also have to finish the drawings for the comic I have to do.

It's hard to believe that the school year is almost over. It seems like yesterday that I had just gone into High School as a freshman, with my too-cool attitude and my Teflon shield. I can hardly believe that next year I'm graduating. It's too much.

I feel old. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. I want to become a writer, have my name on those novels you see day-to-day, but what if I don't?

What if I don't make it? What if my writing is only mediocre, and I fail? I don't know what to do. I couldn't handle an office job, or a job where the only thing I ever see are cream-colored walls, and the blaring screen of a computer in front of me.

I believe that I would one day realize what my life had become, and end my own life. And I don't want to do that. I want to be able to do something I love. Not something I hate. Because I do have somewhat suicidal tendencies, possible bi-polar disorder, and I can get pretty drastic.

It scares me.

I don't know what to do. Too many what-ifs. I dislike "what-ifs". I'm going to try for the writing dream, if not...fashion design! Lol! I have a back-up plan. So don't expect to see me in a cramped office anytime soon. :)

Lawl Me. Bitch.

Life and fond memories.....

Ugh.

That sums up today.

I woke up extremely late, at 8:30. Since today was an late Tuesday (we get them sometimes), we go in at 8:50. I live really far away from my school. To the point that I could go to two different schools, instead of the one I'm at now.

But I like my current school 'cause I have all my friends there.

Anyways, I got dressed, did my hair, and got ready in general, in six minutes. I was out the door in eight minutes, give or take a few seconds.

I ran to the bus stop (darn you public transportation system!) and for once, it was on time. I had to run, which was the most exercise I'll probably have in, like a week.

I got there, too tired to even text. Lawl.

Running to school sucks ass. Especially when its fucking hot. I power walked the rest of the way. Lol. I got to school around 8:55ish. Didn't really get there late. My homeroom teacher was later than I was. Heh.

That was the most important thing that happened today. Except for the dirty jokes a few of my buddies were telling in 1st period. But I can't remember them right now. I'll post them later, if I remember them.

So school was a colossal waste of time. Literally. I did absolutely nothing in any class. I just sat there, day-dreaming. Today, I just socialized and hug-molested. Heh.

After school I went to Cin's house. We kicked it, eating Cheetos and ghetto-soda (RC- according to her) and those mini-cracker cheese sandwiches. Lol! We watched and helped the little kids race and play a little. Then we discussed life and general, and a guy she recently met called her, and I randomly interrupted the conversation with my awesome comments! Lol! BTW: What's NOS according to you?

I came back home. On the bus, and there were no random people calling out racism for stupid reasons, such as getting a bus ride for free.

Now I'm here.

I think I've figured out exactly why I want to be a writer. To have my name (pen name) on those books you see day-to-day. (NOT TWATLIGHT!)

Besides that, I think it would be something my dad would have loved. If he were still alive, that is. I think he would have absolutely loved the idea of me writing. It isn't practical, and on one hand I think he would have thought it stupid, but on the other...

He loved to read. It's where I got it from. Because my mom wouldn't read herself out of a wet paper bag. I say wouldn't because she doesn't read for enjoyment. She knits, and watches TV.

A day out for me and my dad would be going to the library. Going there and staying there for like hours. Then walking to the park, and reading there for more hours. We would also be in the room (we had one bedroom back then) and on my parents' bed we would lay side-by-side reading. Him something from Tom Clancy or some kind of fantasy. Me usually Harry Potter or VC Andrews, or one of those Buffy novels.

Those are some of my fondest memories of him....

This trip down memory lane has seriously made me happy, happiest that I've been in weeks.

^_^

Eh. Tired.

OMG.....so tired. I just want to go to sleep today and not wake up until Monday! Ugh.

School was like whatevers today, except that my best friend is mad at me because I couldn't go play packing mule for her yesterday. She wanted to go shopping for her dress for Jr. Ball, and I had Academic Decathlon. Then she tells me, go after. Meet me there!

....Heh. No. Too tired, and too much homework and shit to do. But I still love her. (I <3 you cupcake!) Lol!

I finished another story yesterday. A funny (at least IMHO) story, about hunting dragons and a were-lion. I also gave it to my teacher to criticize. Lol!

I'll blog again later. Lawl me, bitch! (Lol!)